John Rzeznik, you've done it again

Some of the lyrics to this song... they just really hit me. Hard.

"Let Love In"

You wait, wanting this world
To let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light
In dark and empty streets
You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to see

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in
 
I wish
Wishing for you to find your way
And I'll hold on for all you need
That's all we need to say
I'll take my chances while
You take your time with
This game you play
But I can't control your soul
You need to let me know
You leaving or you gonna stay

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to live without
The only way to see again
Is let love in

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

Where the Literary and the Visual Collide

Arghh! I am having a serious 90's flashback problem.... Something just really struck a chord with me last week when I listened to Slide by the Goo Goo Dolls. I have NO idea what happened, but apparently it was quite epic. And I do apologize to you if you are still somehow managing to read my blog even with all of these references to this band. Truly, I have no idea why this is occurring.... it's like some strange addiction, and I can't stop listening to them. What's worse is that I watch the videos to the songs on youtube and am strangely intrigued. Then, out of more curiosity, I go and research some of the meanings of the songs. For example, I was very curious about Black Balloon. It is just stuffed full of imagery and metaphor, and I had to know the story behind the song. I had a feeling it had something to do with drugs or another kind of addiction... apparently a lover's (or one of the guy's wives) had a heroin addiction and overdosed. Or supposedly, to quote wikipedia quoting Rzeznik, the song talks about "seeing someone you love that is so great just screw up so bad." And this is so bad, but the heroin overdose/seeing a loved one screw up take on the meaning only makes this song and its imagery more intriguing to me. Is that weird?? Yeah, probably. I feel like I did in my Modern Art in America class that I took as an undergrad. We talked A LOT about the 60's and about Andy Warhol and Edie Sedgwick and the drug scene. All about the influences on art from lifetsyles and the newfound "freedom" of that time period. Don't get me wrong, I have no desire to be a part of that whatsoever. But as weird as it sounds, it's just oddly and disturbingly interesting to watch/hear/learn about these people and their lifestyles.... The sadness is intriguing? There's really no way to say that without sounding really off. Ok, how about this-- something about how this era and these lifestyles influenced art is incredibly intriguing. I am the first one to tell you that I greatly dislike modern art. I think it is incredibly just screwed up in it's aim and method. BUT, for some reason, the connection and expression that people are able to find through artwork (and all that goes with it, i.e. symbolism, metaphor, imagery) is incredibly interesting to me. How someone can come up with a certain metaphor or analogy or symbol is just the coolest thing to me. I think that might be because I'm not as good at making up such things, rather I love to put a visual spin on it- let you the viewer see what my mind sees when I hear or read such a metaphor. So, to bring us back to Black Balloon (wow, we just danced all around modern art didn't we? something about drugs is most likely the cause... haha)-- phrases like the following are way cool to me, especially in light of their meaning and then the visual choices from the music video, crazy cool. Think about each separately as its own thought within its symbols and meanings and as a metaphor and such. So intriguing.

Baby's black balloon makes her fly
 
I almost fell into that hole in your life

You were the same as me, But on your knees

I saw the world spin beneath you
 
And scatter like ice from the spoon
That was your womb

That swallowed the light from the sun
Inside your room

And I go on as you get colder

Are you someone's prayer

And I'll go and lead you home and
And I'll become
What you became to me

The Sweetest Sadness in Your Eyes

While this does not go along with the theme for my Monday Music choices that I decided on last week, I listened to this song (and this artist for that matter) for the first time today. This choice was too good to pass on and there is a sweet sadness in this song that really fits where I am right now... Maybe not exactly over what she describes but the loss and the change and the unknown and the empty haunted sighs are still there.

All my fears have pushed you out

Isn't it ironic, or perhaps really cool, how God will use whatever it takes to reach us. Some lyrics from a song I was listening to (in my crazy goo goo dolls daze earlier today):

Stranger than your sympathy
And this is my apology
I killed myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out

And I wished for things that I don’t need
(all I wanted)
And what I chased won’t set me free
(all I wanted)
And I get scared but I’m not crawlin’ on my knees

Oh, yeah
Everything’s all wrong, yeah
Everything’s all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was? 


And stranger than your sympathy
Take these things, so I don’t feel
I’m killing myself from the inside out
And now my head’s been filled with doubt


We’re taught to lead the life you choose
(all I wanted)
You know your love’s run out on you
(all I wanted)
And you can’t see when all your dreams aren’t coming true
(Sympathy, Goo Goo Dolls from Gutterflower (Enh'd))


I couldn't see that I was sabotaging myself. My fears of rejection and hurt became lord over my life. And I pushed everything that resembled what I truly wanted out. I try so hard not to fail. I try so hard to get everything exactly right, because I thought that was the best way to avoid pain. But in my search for perfection, I messed up anyway... or even more so. I think God just wants us to live. To obey his commands and to surrender to his will, yes, but to also live. He promises he will direct our steps. Why am I trying so hard to convince myself that what I want must be not at all what God wants, simply because it's of me? Why can't it be that my desires become his desires when I seek to be in the center of his will? And even though I know all of this, especially that my fears have been ruling over me, how can I still doubt? It's like as soon as I move forward, satan throws whatever he can at me to try and halt my progress. I want to want God more than anything... but I feel that satan may try to be using this against me. Unless I know that this is what God wants from me, I feel  forbidden to want it. But didn't I just get through figuring out that He directs my steps if my heart is willing? God, may I know you more... may I know and draw close to your heart.

I saw the world spin beneath you

I'm not sure why the sudden obsession with the Goo Goo Dolls... It's like listening to one song that I hadn't heard in forever caused a domino effect of a need to listen to every song by them, only furthering my appreciation for this music (and for the beauty that is John Rzeznik ♥) Love, love, love this one...

Little Pieces of the Nothing That Fall

I'm not so sure when this became a music blog (haha, I feel like my friend Monika!), but I do like getting to "re-enjoy" certain music that I was afraid to officially "like" when it was new or semi-popular. People that liked said music were "those people." Haha.

But I totally love the Goo Goo Dolls ♥... always did :) Yesterday, Monika and I definitely rocked out to a fantastic collection of varying music while doing some cooking, and a series of songs by the Goo Goo Dolls, including this selection, was included.

Kinda makes you all giggly-girl and swoon-like, yes?

Are You or Not?

Had to post this video... I was just introduced to this group and this song- wow, punk-ish country?? Really? That is AWESOME. And furthermore, regarding the content of the song, I'm pretty sure that that's just the way it's gotta be. Sometimes, it seems, the girl has just gotta step up and get things rolling. Yes? Maybe? Ok, well it sure feels that way :) I'm not advocating that a woman pursue, but seriously gentlemen, do something. Haha. I don't normally write posts on this subject matter, but this song was just too good. Regardless of your opinion, enjoy!

Guilty Pleasures

Musically speaking of course. I can't seem to get away from certain music that I love but normally would never admit in public to listening to. I'm sure we all have those... :) But lately, Monika has been encouraging the non-conforming musical side of me to come out of hiding... So the next few music posts that I do are going to be those guilty pleasures and oh-so-embarrassing picks. But you know, I think we really start getting to know each other once we dig deep enough to see stuff like this. I have two for today. Completely different genres. The first is pretty much one of those that you should be ashamed to tell people, haha. Harkens back to my jr. high days I believe... The second is actually a popular song right now, at least I think. I don't normally listen to the popular radio stations or check out what the "in" bands and music are right now, so I feel somewhat silly that I actually like a song that is well-liked right now. But I just love love love this song. Like I think it's a modern day swoon song... pretty much any guy could get me just with this song. And both of these choices are just too good to pass up... I won' tell if you won't ;)

Orchard House

I want to do something splendid before I go into my castle-something heroic, or wonderful-that won't be forgotten after I'm dead. I don't know what, but I'm on the watch for it, and mean to astonish you all, some day.  -Louisa May Alcott, Little Women


I love love love this soundtrack from Little Women. I can listen to this music over and over. Also really great music to paint to :) Orchard House is so beautiful and full of charm and magic. It feels so classic and expectant and lovely. I think I have also decided that Little Women is going to be part of the Reading Contentment Challenge that I am joining in this year. It is such a wonderful book that deserves to be reread and reread.

And, further regarding the soundtrack.... I kind of want to one day walk down the aisle to Orchard House and leave to Under the Umbrella. Is that a little crazy? I'm pretty sure that this fact should say something significant about my personality :)
Anyway, my music of choice for today is Orchard House from the Little Women Soundtrack. Enjoy!

Musical Monday (or Tuesday)

Yeah. Tuesday, again. But this time, I think I have a really great excuse. Snow is a wonderfully beautiful excuse. As is spending the day drinking something warm in a coffee cup sitting inside watching it through the window. As is venturing outside a few times to play in it and gather enough for snow cream. As is admiring a magical part of God's creation that literally makes you stop and be in awe at his creativity. I need something whimsical and fantastical and lovely in honor of the snow for this week's musical choice.
Unfortunately this artist has no videos that I can find anywhere to use in this post so you will have to trust me when I say that you should definitely click on this link and go listen to these two songs. Or any other piece by this group. It is some of the best music to listen to when you want to inspire your creativity. I will probably, at some point, post about every song on their album. But here are today's Music choices (Be sure to click and go to the site and then listen!):

The Day Rachel was Born by Apouria

and
Theater of Human Life by Apouria

Days 16 and 17

A song that makes me cry. Hmmm.... I know that Danny Boy used to make me cry. Not as much now, but it did. So here is the link to most post about that song: Musical Monday, Danny Boy

This song by Enya at times does make me cry as well.... even though it is in Gaelic. I have read the translation, which does make it more sad (but in a good way!), but I think the overall mood of the song, the tone and the music, really touched me and made me emotional even before I read the words.



Here are the lyrics and translation:

Smaointe...

A Thought...

(D'Aodh Agus Do Mháire Uí Dhúgain) Éist le mo chroí, Go brónach a choích' Tá mé caillte gan tú 's do bhean chéile. An grá mór i do shaoil Treoraí sé mé. Bígí liomsa i gcónaí Lá 's oích'. Curfá: Ag caoineadh ar an uaigneas mór Na deora, go brónach 'Na gcodladh ins an uaigh ghlas chiúin Faoi shuaimhneas, go domhain. Aoibhneas a bhí Ach d'imigh sin Sé lean tú Do fhear chéile. An grá mór i do shaoil Treoraí sé mé. Bígí liomsa i gcónaí Lá 's oích'. Curfá Smaointe, ar an lá 'Raibh sibh ar mo thaobh Ag inse scéil Ar an dóigh a bhí Is cuimhin liom an lá Gan ghá 's gan ghruaim Bígí liomsa i gcónaí Lá 's oích'.

(To my maternal grandparents, literally: "For Hugh and Mary Duggan") Listen to my heart, Forever sad I'm lost without you and your wife. The great love in your lives [1] Will guide me. Be (plural) with me always Day and night. Chorus: Weeping due to the great loneliness The tears, sorrowfully Asleep in the quiet green grave In a deep peace. There was blissfulness But that is gone You followed Your husband. The great love in your lives Will guide me. Be (plural) with me always Day and night. Chorus A thought, on the day You were (both) at my side Telling tales Of how things were. I remember the day Carefree and happy [2] Be (plural) with me always Day and night.

1. The meaning of this phrase in this context is "the love that was shown by the two of you".
2. Literally "without need and without gloom". 

I also think there are probably quite a few church songs that stir a lot of emotion within me, most of them being older hymns. Something about singing hymns sometimes just makes me feel so grounded... I feel like these are words that so many before me have found truth in.... Almost like the words and melodies echo the heart's cry of so many godly men and women, saints that now are rejoicing before their Father. In a way, they make me feel so close to my grandparents, my mom's mom and dad. I feel like they were such a pillar of faith in my own life and in the life of the church they were a part of. I feel like I'm back there, years ago, just a small child sitting on those pews next to my Memaw and Papaw. I can hear my grandmother singing "Tell Me the Story of Jesus." I can see my grandfather's old worn Bible.

This is one of those songs that brought me back to a firm foundation and a place of faith when everything in my life stopped making sense. This song spoke to my insecurity and my feelings of isolation and abandonment and loneliness during such a difficult time in my life:

1. How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
   Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
   What more can He say than to you He hath said—
   To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
2. “Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
   For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
   I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
   Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.
3. “When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
   The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
   For I will be with thee thy trouble to bless,
   And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
4. “When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
   My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
   The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
   Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
5. “The soul that on Jesus doth lean for repose,
   I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
   That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
   I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.”

My favorite website would probably have to be one of the many blogs that I read. I really like these:
donmilleris
stuffchristianslike

And as of recent, I found this one:
rabbitroom

I also like Etsy a lot.... when I have money to just go shopping with :)

From an artistic point of view, I really like this blog:
womenpaintingwomen

All the Cool Kids Are Doing It

So I shall too. Make a Christmas Wish List that is. Although I think mine might be a tad predictable and boring... I'm one of those people that is completely happy with a few books, a scarf, and a gift card to Borders (for more books :) shocker....) But, if you haven't already guessed, I am quite the visual person. I must have my pictures! So here goes my photo wish list....

The most wonderful Josh Groban has a new album, just in time for Christmas

A few books I've been admiring from afar...

        

And some holiday inspired reading

    

The final addition to my most beloved Masterpiece Theater collection of favorite literature made into movies

 

I have wanted this movie for so long! One of my favorite old movies.

Love this slouchy hat by Pixiebell

It is purple and lovely (made by CozyHomeCrochet)

Also lovely and purple (notice a theme here?), a beautiful bolero by MagnolijaDRESS

A chunky scarf by KnitFrekkles

Crochet fingerless gloves and a cozy capelet, both by homelab 

    

 

And finally, I have admired these yarn bangles by mysticfibers for some time. They are too much fun :)

What about you? What's on your wish list this year?

More Celtic Woman

Can you really ever get enough? Haha... you probably can, but right now I'm all about it. I think I get addicted to it at least twice a year- now, when PBS shows their tour, if not once then twice a week, for their pledge of support thing. Which brings me to the second time of year, when I go to the Celtic Woman concert at the Orpheum, because I just about always pledge the amount to PBS to get tickets with the most amazing seats. I have a constant Celtic Woman fund that goes all year long because I know I will be getting tickets once again! It is the one show/outing/event that I do every year :)
So... to appease my current addiction... And aren't you lucky today? You get two for one!

A Musical Monday, Harry's Game

I think I'm going to try an experiment... I like the idea of regularly posting music that is inspiring to me as an artist and that I can create to and paint listening to. So, on Mondays, as often as I can remember, I am going to try to post music that is inspiring to me. This will also be good for me in that I'm going to have to look for things to inspire me... a very good part of disciplining myself in the creative process.
So, shall we give it a try?

Today's music is from Celtic Woman. I watched the PBS Celtic Woman Special tonight, I think they were doing their "Greatest Journey" tour. Since it was one of their old tour videos, it made me want to go back and listen to some of my old Celtic Woman. While listening to their self-title album, I came across Harry's Game, which is all in Gaelic. It is wonderful.... mystical and earthy....mysterious.
I also found some background info on the song itself: "The lyrics to the song were written to depict the story of The Troubles among all sides in Northern Ireland and the future of the sides (Nationalist, Republican, Unionist and Loyalist). The lyrics, derived from an ancient text from Galway, explain how in war and in violence, no side will win - that all lose." The lyrics and translation are included at the end of the post.
I'll let you have a listen, and you can tell me what you think...  

Harry's Game

Imtheochaidh soir is siar
A dtainig ariamh
An ghealach is an ghrian

Fol lol the doh fol the day
Fol the day fol the day

Imtheochaidh an ghealach’s an ghrian
An Daoine og is a chail ’na dhiadh

Fol lol the doh fol the day
Fol the day fol the day

Fol lol the doh fol the day
Fol the day fol the day

Imtheochaidh a dtainig ariamh
an duine og is a chail ne dhiadh

Fol lol the doh fol the day
Fol the day fol the day

TRANSLATION:

I will go east and go west
From whence came
The moon and the sun

The moon and the sun will go
And the young man


With his reputation behind him
I will go wherever he came from -
The young man with his reputation behind him 

Day 2 My Favorite Song

This is so very hard to choose because I tend to like different music for different reasons, so I will just pick my new favorite song. Yesterday, I was reading through some of the blogs that I follow, and someone had posted this song. I instantly fell in love. This is just such an artistically beautiful song... I posted it to my facebook immediately with the words, "I can see wintry compositions... cool colors, icy blues, windy purples, and snowy teals... I do love painting wintertime." This fits and so much more, I love the overall mood and emotion that the song evokes... it is such a hopelessly lovely piece.

Winter Song by Sara Bareilles with Ingrid Michaelson